Let’s Just Be Honest!
Unhappy, lost, irritable, controlling, worrier, perfectionist, complex, jealous, worn…these adjectives only begin to describe the recent turmoil in my life.
I registered for M2O not knowing what to expect, but at the first meeting my dear neighbor, Mitzi Pierce, spoke and I clung onto every single word she said. Michelle Price then turned on “Worn” by Tenth Avenue North and the light bulb went off. I AM WORN! I shared with my husband later that night that I was so glad I signed up for M2O and also admitted that I was worn out, struggled with being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom), struggled with being married to a small business owner, and on and on.
My emotional well-being was suffering (and had been for about 2 years). I was disappointed in myself for failing to be the happy/positive person in my home that I led all my friends/strangers think I was. I complained (to myself) all day long, cried at night, but never shared it with anyone.
Why do we do that as moms? We don’t want to share struggles with our spouses because they’ve already had a long day, we can’t take some time for ourselves during the day because we feel like we will be a failure because we didn’t work on ABCs that day, we can’t share with our mom friends that we are struggling or we yelled at our kids because what if they judge, or tell others that we really don’t have it together. Every mom out there is doing great work and in a way that works for them. There is no room for us to put that much pressure on ourselves to feel like we aren’t doing it as well, or even sometimes feel as if we are doing it “better” than someone else.
Let’s just decide to be HONEST - with our spouses, kids, friends, and OURSELVES! A friend of mine, Lena, has a blog that details the honest truth of being a wife and mom of a 3 year old. Truly she doesn’t hold anything back, and I love that. Recently she shared a “battle at the playground” which ended in her daughter smacking her in the face out of anger about leaving the park. She shared that God was using that experience to keep her grounded and also teach her daughter about God’s love and forgiveness. Someone took bits and pieces of her story and essentially judged her actions and broke her down; that is, until many people showed support for her and asked her to keep blogging because she reminds us that we are all in this together. She said “[B]efore you open your mouth or type on your keyboard, remember the grace you have been given. It is not earned or deserved…it’s freely given! And we should give it (to other worn out mamas) freely in return.
Over the last few months I have been praying that the Lord will change me and allow me to start over. I love this quote by Rachel Macy Stafford (Hands Free Mama – it’s a book and a blog), “Let’s start over. Today is as good a day as any to begin again.” I now feel free, able, confident, hopeful, comfortable, and happy. I may still be a perfectionist and fall back to some of the old feelings, but I now give myself the grace to feel some of my “old ways” without judgment as I go about my day-to-day work as a wife, mom, and friend.
I hope you will join me with changing our attitudes and just be honest with each other. Think of how much we can grow and learn from each other when all the pressure is off our shoulders!
Posted on Wed, March 19, 2014
by Beth Lizzio