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building a community to reach a community

April 21-27, 2013

Leader’s Guide – Week of April 21, 2013

As we continue this series, I hope that your group continues to connect in new ways through the personal sharing this series is asking from us.  

Connecting Question:  What was the most memorable vacation your family took when you were growing up, or what is the most memorable vacation your family has taken? Have each group member share.

After sharing around the connecting question, check in with your group on how they are doing in the application of last week’s message.

Looking Back on “It Is All About Me”

Tom read a quote at the beginning of the message: “Man is broken, he lives by mending, the grace of God is glue.” Ask group members to reflect on this in light of their family lives and this series so far. Ask, “Does this quote resonate with you? Why or why not? Does it discourage you or give you hope?”

Read the passage together (Colossians 3:12-16). 

·  After reading, ask your group to look back through the passage and call out the commands in this passage.  (“Put on… “ “Let the peace of Christ rule…” “Be thankful…” “Let the word of Christ dwell…”) Note that all the commands are directed at the reader, not other people (i.e. these are things for YOU to do).  Ask, “Why do you think this is significant?”

·  Tom asked the congregation to say a phrase together, “I have some growing up to do.” Is that hard to admit?  Why or why not?  Why do you think that is an important phrase for living in the context of a family?
·  One of the first steps forward is to accept life for what it is. Why do you think this is so difficult to do? How does accepting life for what it is help you carry out the commands in verses 12-16?
·  The end of the message included two helpful questions for us to ask ourselves as we deal with family life situations this week. Read the questions (below) and ask group members to share how these questions might help them respond to their family members this week.

o   What part am I playing in this situation, and how can I grow through it?

o   In what ways do I need to draw upon Christ to allow him to change me from the inside out?

Looking Ahead to “There Are Always Options”

If possible, have next week’s verse (Colossians 3:17) printed out on pieces of paper to hand out to group members.  Read the verse out loud together 3-4 times.  Then have the group recite this verse out loud from memory.  Then ask each group member what stands out the most to them from this verse and why?

You might also ask, “How does this verse relate to family life?”

Colossians 3:17

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.


Family Life in HD: It is All About Me!  Colossians 3:12-17

4.21.13  Tom Oyler, Lead Pastor

It is up to me to deal with life as it is.

It is up to me to own my attitudes and actions.

It is up to me to enrich my relationship with Christ.


Family Life in HD: It is All About Me!

Colossians 3:17

Surprised? We may not initially like it, but it can be freeing to know that we need not be controlled by other people. It is all about me! Taking responsibility for ourselves in every situation can lead to more healthy people and families.

Thinking It Through

Man is broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is the glue.

                   ~Eugene O’Neill

Marriage teaches us loyalty, self-restraint, forbearance, and a lot of other qualities we wouldn’t need so badly if we were single.


It is terrible to find how little progress one’s philosophy and charity have made when they are brought to the test of family life.

          ~C.S. Lewis

The person who makes the rules we live by is the person who is God to us.


Living It Out

1.      What does the title, It Is All About Me, mean in context of family life?

2.      In what ways are you making your family relationships about someone other than you?

3.      Why is Christ irreplaceable when it comes to family life?


Family Life in HD: There are Always Options

Colossians 3:17

Have you ever said, “I’ve tried everything…nothing helps.” Who hasn’t at one time or another? Especially in the context of family life. Family life presents to us many choices every day. Often we see only limited or no options. This week we seek to open our eyes to a variety of options through the lens of Colossians 3:17.

Looking It Up

1.      Describe in our own words what core message Paul has been making in Colossians 3:1-16 and how you are being challenged and changed by it?

2.      Write out 3:17 below, and then make as many observations as you can of it. It would be helpful to read it out loud several times.

3.      How does v. 17 seem to be connected to vs. 1-16? How about to vs. 18-25?

4.      What questions does the verse create for you?

5.      What are your thoughts on the title, There Are Always Options, when it comes to family life?